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Vietnam |
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Tet Offensive? I don't know much about that, but the fish paste certainly smells bad. |
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Song Hong? Red River? You're havin' me on! |
The Hanoi Honkfest. |
"Not now Kato!!!" A couple of old fellas get demonstrative with the words of wisdom down by Hoan Kiem Lake in Hanoi. |
Street corner Hanoi. Translation: "Cold Beer 7p a glass". Happy days, wet beds. |
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Vietnamese fast food. Waiting for a Bia Hoi, and the nice lady at the equivalent of the mobile kebab shop serves up barbecued dried fish. Not good to be fair- even after a few scoops of Hoi. |
I mean, it doesn't even look good. |
What's this? Jimmy Krankie's personal tailor...? |
...but next day... ooh, please don't tell me they actually sold the red one? Mummy, I'm scared. |
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Hanoi War Museum- full of monuments to the imagination man has utilised in order to kill, maim and disfigure others. Nasty and depressing, to be honest. |
Carrying that much veg- it's just no yoke. |
Halong Bay. Blah de blah. |
Cat Ba harbour in Halong Bay, and not sure if it's the fishing fleet or the navy in dock. |
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Double Lotus position. |
Vietnamese boat people on the ethnic pedalos. |
And they start 'em young down at Tam Coc- even if her feet don't reach the pedals. |
Taking a Vietnamese bike ride. |
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Hue Citadel- setting for the new series of Antiques Roadshow. |
An oasis of calm and lily pads at the Hue Citadel. |
Vietnam and its pagodas-a-go-go. When you've seen one, you've seen four thousand. |
Vinh Moc Tunnels- home to hundreds of crafty VC and villagers right on the doorstep of the DMZ during the war. |
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Our DMZ guide Missa Chung is wukking in Wietnam war as tranlatter wid merican toop gaint communiss outsie when B52 bomming toop insie of minefeel in peppare for ambuss and at end after had-to-had wombat wid 32000 communiss finis kill wid only 100 merican mawine finis kill... Sorry, erm, run that past me again. |
Top fella. And 4 feet 2 inches in his platform sling-backs too! |
Nice helmet. |
Middle of a track in the middle of no man's land and this old fella peddles past looking like he's running on dust. |
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Yes, I am a knobhead... |
They say that scientists haven't been able to conclusively prove the link between residues of war time defoliants and subsequent mutations and birth defects. The the four-winged, two-headed grasshoppers suggest otherwise. |
Calm before the storm over the Tribal Theme Park of Sapa. |
Pleasant sunset over Fansipan in Sapa. |
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In Sapa the boys take their Bia Hoi supplies pretty seriously. |
Pissing it down in the Tribal Theme Park and I'm bored bored bored... Thankfully the cheeky little red is only a quid a bottle. |
Downtown Hoi An- more chintz than a branch of Habitat. |
Gecko, snake or scorpion- name your reptile or arachnid and the Vietnamese will eat it, drink it, bottle it or rub it in their arthritic joints. The lady at the market also told me it would make me a "strong man" (grasping her forearm). I bought 2 bottles and had to chuck my Speedos in the bin. |
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The bustling fish and seafood market at Hoi An. Just follow your nose.... |
"Police are believed to be looking for a gang, all about 4 feet 6 in height, of slight build and wearing conical hats in connection with the theft of several boxes of fish". |
Hitting the hard sell down at the market... |
...take it easy, conical hatted sales-lady. |
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Art? Nope. But joining in with all the other tourists in Hoi An anyway- wandering the streets photographing random uninteresting stuff in the vain hope it might just metamorphose into a National Geographic cover shot. Sad. The colour pages in the Lonely Planet have a lot to answer for. |
Having a paddle on the Thu Bon River. |
Beach hawker-lady pins out her mat down at the beach in Hoi An. A good sign, cos while she's busy at this she's leaving us a alone for a minute. |
Another Uberhawker stalking Cua Dai Beach for unsuspecting tourist prey. |
